


Losing Me

by jus2kyu



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, idk how to tag im sorry, mentions of minsung, prompts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-12
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2021-01-29 05:57:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21405304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jus2kyu/pseuds/jus2kyu
Summary: Minho says he can’t be in a relationship with his best friend Jisung because there’s too much at risk.Cue Hyunjin who overhears their conversation:“Are you just with me because I’m easier to let go?”
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin/Lee Minho | Lee Know
Comments: 2
Kudos: 142





	Losing Me

“Thanks for understanding why we can’t be together, Jisung. You know I like Hyunjin,” Minho says. Hyunjin really didn’t mean to eavesdrop on Minho and Jisung but he left his glasses inside his locker and when he went back to get it, the two were locked in a serious conversation nearby so Hyunjin didn’t think he needed to let his presence be known. He stayed glued to the locker doors, away from his friends’ line of sight. “There’s too much at risk when it comes to relationships. You’re my best friend and I can’t afford to lose you.”

Upon hearing that, Hyunjin feels his heart sink to his stomach. He knows he should be happy— Minho explicitly 1) rejected Jisung and 2) professed his feelings for Hyunjin. But the last thing Minho said didn’t sound right. It made him feel... dispensable.

He understood the friendship between Minho and Jisung. Jisung was actually the reason Hyunjin even met Minho the “best friend”. 

At the start of their freshman year of highschool, Hyunjin was put in the same class as Jisung and they even became lab partners for a semester. Seungmin, Hyunjin’s best friend who was also in their class, befriended the new kid Felix, and then their friendship circle grew with the addition of Minho and his friend Changbin, both a year above Hyunjin, and Chan and Woojin who were two years their senior. Jeongin joined them a year later despite being the only first year in the group. Hyunjin knows Jeongin loves being babied by everyone and so he happily fulfills his duty as Jeongin’s hyung.

For the longest time, Hyunjin only had Seungmin and he was okay with it. Their houses were right next to each other and they practically grew up never leaving each other’s sides. While Seungmin was the more social one between the two, Hyunjin was a well-performing student ever since he started school so a lot of people knew him, too. He’d hung out with some of his classmates a few times before but he’d only ever trusted Seungmin, so opening up to seven new friends was overwhelming at first. He was used to being alone or only being with Seungmin. He didn’t really speak much, only keeping his thoughts to himself, and he was very shy. Seungmin always tried to bring Hyunjin out of his shell. Sooner or later, all his new friends seemed to want to do the same. Fortunately, within a week, he felt very comfortable with every single one of them.

Well. Sort of.

Minho was a special case. Hyunjin knew (actually Seungmin knew before he did) that he found Minho attractive. Everyone in school does. Like Hyunjin, Minho kept mostly to himself and liked to keep his friendship circle small. Apparently, 8 was his limit so their group was perfect. Minho was a damn good dancer and is a complete gentleman. Did Hyunjin mention he volunteers at the local animal center? So yes, maybe Hyunjin had a little crush. 

And it was fine. 

Sure, Hyunjin freaked out at first because he really didn’t want feelings to ruin such a promising friendship with Minho; Hyunjin also knew that ‘that mess’ will affect their group so he tells himself to not worry because his feelings ought to fade sometime soon.

Except Hyunjin’s feelings didn’t fade. 

Instead, they got reciprocated.

The day Hyunjin found out Minho liked him back, Seungmin got a call late at night from a very disoriented Hyunjin screeching at his ears, saying something along the lines of “this shit never happens”, “crushes aren’t supposed to like you back” and “i did not think this far ahead”. By the time Seungmin hears a soft “what do i do?” from his best friend, he scrambles out of his own home (blanket still wrapped around himself with a packet of microwaveable popcorn on one hand) and rings the doorbell at the Hwang’s residence next door. Seungmin doesn’t mind that it’s a school night and he and Hyunjin are probably going to stay up talking about crushes, among other things.

Hyunjin had never liked anyone the way he likes Minho. He had never been in a relationship and knows that he isn’t ready for one. He was glad Minho respected that. Minho had a few girlfriends and boyfriends in the past, even gaining the reputation of a playboy. So, yes, Hyunjin was scared. When Minho told him he’d pursue him, Hyunjin kept telling himself not to expect much because even though Minho is one of his closest friends, he still doubted his hyungs intentions— which Woojin hyung says is normal. Hyunjin doesn’t think much of himself either and he was so sure Minho would get tired of pursuing him after a few weeks. 

Only Minho doesn’t.

It’s been months and Minho still treats him the same. So far, he’s been consistent with checking up on Hyunjin, joining Hyunjin in the library for hours even if the elder didn’t have exams coming up, walking Hyunjin home and taking him out on dates. They weren’t official yet, there’s so much they don’t know about each other. Hyunjin just wants to be sure.

And along the way, Hyunjin starts to believe in a future with Minho. He starts to want Minho to be “the one”. When a classmate of his confesses to Hyunjin and Hyunjin turned him down, he realizes he can’t like anyone else other than Minho. He’s fallen for the elder. Hard.

When it comes to Minho, actions speak louder than words. Quite literally, actually, since the elder doesn’t say much. But when he does, he gives the most meaningful advice. Minho looks cold when you first meet him, but is the first to drape himself over their friends when they hang out. It’s these sides to Minho that Hyunjin really admires. Plus, his hyung is seriously pretty. Hyunjin finds Minho so attractive that he gets caught staring at the elder multiple times. He knows it flusters Minho, but Minho plays along really well by showing bursts of confidence. He’s really playful, too, whereas Hyunjin has the tendency to get serious. Hyunjin keeps Minho in line and Minho makes sure Hyunjin doesn’t get too worked up on small things. Their friends think they really complement each other and Hyunjin agrees.

The sound of loud footsteps brings Hyunjin out of his thoughts. Apparently, Minho had finished talking with Jisung and the two were playing tag in the deserted hallway. They don’t notice Hyunjin, much to his relief. He plops down on the floor, deep in thought and desperately fighting away tears.

Speaking of Jisung, Hyunjin knew of Jisung’s feelings towards Minho. He didn’t need Jisung to tell him because the way he looks at Minho gives it away. Hyunjin wonders if that’s how he looks at Minho, too. For this reason, Hyunjin held his feelings back for Minho. He noticed Jisung and Minho really go well together and he respected that. Then Minho went ahead and expressed his feelings for Hyunjin.

Hyunjin felt like he was intruding, of course. But Jisung was so sweet, encouraging him instead and assuring him that he understands how Minho could only see him as a best friend. Jisung moved on; Hyunjin could only imagine how hard that must be. Only it wasn’t that hard, Jisung told him himself, when Felix came to the picture. He seemed genuinely happy and Hyunjin was glad; he was also honored that Jisung would confide in him. Hyunjin felt secure.

But now, Hyunjin wasn’t sure.

He keeps himself from jumping into conclusions, but Hyunjin still felt his stomach sinking. He knows Minho values him, otherwise why would he exert so much effort into their relationship? Did Minho grow tired of waiting for Hyunjin’s answer about the both of them? Did Minho grow tired of Hyunjin? He still trusts Minho and refused to assume anything— they’ll have to talk about this later. But then, what was there to talk about? They weren’t boyfriends. Minho wasn’t his. They never talked about where they stood, and regardless of it, Minho was his own person. Hyunjin doesn’t have the right to dictate how Minho should feel or act. But still, understanding all of this, Hyunjin felt it was unfair; and that he was losing a fight. When Minho said that he couldn’t risk his friendship with Jisung, what does that make of his friendship with Hyunjin? Was Minho scared of losing Jisung and not Hyunjin?

“Hey.” A voice calls out to Hyunjin. He freezes because he knows who that voice belongs to.

When Hyunjin doesn’t reply, Minho continues. “You weren’t with the others outside. They said you came in to get something.” Minho looks hesitant. “Did you hear us talking?”

Jisung had asked to talk to Minho alone. Of course Minho agreed. He missed his best friend; he feels they’ve gotten distant somehow. Jisung had, for the last time like he said, confessed to Minho. He told him everything he felt for the elder. Jisung was getting somewhere with Felix, he happily tells Minho. But Felix wanted Jisung to be sure he’s over Minho before committing. A sort-of closure was what Jisung had in mind. As they walked out of the building, they were gushing about Felix and Hyunjin and blushing like crazy. There was relief, of course, as though an unspoken got lifted. When Minho learned that Hyunjin had followed inside, the relief was replaced with anxiety. There’s a huge possibility that Hyunjin had overheard them and he didn’t want the younger to take things out of context. Minho cared about Hyunjin a lot and the younger makes him happy. He was never one to openly pursue someone like this for a long time but Hyunjin was different. Minho wanted things to be right when it came to Hyunjin. Hyunjin has such a lovely smile and when Minho knows he’s the reason behind it, he thinks that maybe this is what winning the lottery feels like. 

Hyunjin was scared to respond because what if Minho gets angry? No one likes being eavesdropped upon. Still, Minho was waiting and Hyunjin gives in. He nods.

Minho sighs and crouches down to Hyunjin’s level. “What upset you?”

Hyunjin knows Minho isn’t stupid. Minho just wants Hyunjin to articulate his thoughts to avoid misunderstandings. Hyunjin’s heart only aches and beats faster. Even now, Minho’s the one to work things out.

There’s so much on Hyunjin’s mind but what he manages to croak out was: “Aren’t you afraid of losing me?”

“What?” Minho frowns and takes Hyunjin’s hand in his. He answers almost immediately. “Of course I am, Hyunjin-ah. Why would you think that?”

“B-because you said y-you can’t be with Jisung because there’s t-too much at risk and you can’t lose him.” Hyunjin’s tears start spilling out and he hates it, but he can’t stop them. Even with Hyunjin’s petty accusations, Minho is nice enough to wipes away the younger’s tears. “Are you just with me because I’m easier to let go?”

Minho stops and hangs his head low. Hyunjin knows he’s thinking of something to say so he waits. Hyunjin curses himself for overthinking things and being too sensitive. He hears Minho sniffling. He looks up at the elder in front of him in shock.

“Oh my god, you’re crying.” Hyunjin panics. “I’m sorry, it’s stupid. Don’t mind me, Minho-hyung, I’m oka—“

And then Minho’s hugging him.

“So stupid, Hyunjin. But I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for you to feel that way.” Minho’s saying, his voice muffled by Hyunjin’s shirt. “You’re not easy to let go. Anyone who lets you go is stupid. Letting you go is never going to be easy for me and I don’t intend to.”

Hyunjin stays silent. They’re both crying on each other’s shoulders now. Minho rarely cries and Hyunjin feels bad. 

“I’m so sorry, hyung, I didn’t mean to questio—“

Hyunjin is interrupted for the second time by Minho hastily pulling away to face him. The elder gently wipes Hyunjin’s tears with his hand while wiping his onto his jacket sleeves. He finds the situation amusing and chuckles. Hyunjin smiles at that and his shoulders already feel lighter.

“Jinnie,” Minho starts. “I can’t tell you that I never liked Jisung because I’m not sure if what I felt for Jisung went beyond that of a best friend. At some point, maybe it did. He knows me well and he gets me. He was familiar. But I never felt that I wanted to take things further; I didn’t like him enough to court him or want a future with him, unlike with you,”

Hyunjin’s heart skipped a beat at “future” and his cheeks burn up. He tries to hide his flustered face from Minho because he really shouldn’t be blushing in this serious atmosphere but Minho keeps his hands intertwined in his.

“If you think that me risking our friendship in exchange for something more means I see you as someone more dispensable or replacable than Jisung then, baby, you’re wrong.” Minho kisses Hyunjin’s knuckles lightly. If someone were to ask him at this moment, he would have kissed the hell out of Hyunjin. But Hyunjin has never had his first kiss; he wanted to share it with the right person. Minho wishes he was that person for Hyunjin. But until then, he can wait. “There’s a part of me that’s scared that if I choose to enter a relationship with Jisung, there’s a huge chance of us falling out and me losing him. But,”

Hyunjin has trouble breathing but he wills himself to stare right into Minho’s brown eyes. Most of the time, they held a piercing gaze but Hyunjin wishes people could see this side of Minho. The one with warm, inviting eyes and a carefree smile. Hyunjin is convinced there was a part of Minho reserved only for him; looks and smiles that were only for him. He wishes it were true.

Minho takes in a deep, shaky breath and continues.

“When it comes to you, Hyunjin, I don’t feel like I’m taking a risk.” Minho smiles softly at him, looking fond. “I don’t feel like I’m gonna be losing you because I know within myself that I won’t let that happen. I’m ready to fight for this— for us. With Jisung, or anyone else, I don’t think I’d be this persistent. I don’t feel like I’m taking a risk with you because it feels natural. Like me meeting you and falling for you was what’s supposed to happen all along.”

Hyunjin smiles at that and Minho takes the opportunity to sweep Hyunjin’s hair to the side, hand lingering and touching the younger’s face gently. “I know it’s scary, baby. I get overwhelmed, too. I’ve never been this happy and I’ve never been this sure. I get scared that one day it’ll stop and it makes me sad so I try not to think about it. We can never know what the future holds but I would very much like it if you remained in mine.”

“I’d like that, too.” Hyunjin finally gets the courage to speak up. Minho’s eyes crinkle when he flashes Hyunjin the brightest smile. “Thank you for being honest, Minho-hyung. And for the reassuring words. I feel immature and I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about, Hyunjinnie.” Minho pats Hyunjin’s head playfully. “It’s normal. But the next time you feel something like that again, tell me and we’ll talk it out, okay? We’re a team, right? We’ll figure things out. Together.”

“Together,” Hyunjin agrees. He moves to hug Minho, craving the elder’s warmth. “I love you. Thank you for being patient.”

“I love you, too.” Minho realizes this is the first time they said the ‘L’ word. His heart races and tears threaten to spill out. He faces Hyunjin and leans in to place a kiss on his forehead. Hyunjin gasps and Minho freezes because he’s never done that before, they would only cuddle and hold hands at times. The younger was very clear with his intention of taking things slow. Minho found it endearing but often finds himself very cautious because he didn’t want to seem so eager by stepping out of line. They were exclusive, Minho thinks, but not yet official.

“Don’t look scared Minho-hyung.” Hyunjin smiles at him. “Boyfriends do that kind of thing, don’t they?”

“Yeah they do.” Minho tries to hide his grin but fails. “Boyfriends? Is that what we are?”

Hyunjin could only nod before Minho’s laughing loudly out of pure happiness and tackling him to the ground with a bone-crushing hug.

**Author's Note:**

> i really think hyunho’s an underrated ship and there aren’t many fics about them so i made one
> 
> hope you guys like it!!!! kudos, comments and requests are welcome <33
> 
> twt: @_starlightaus


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